My Exceedingly Odd Phobia

I HATE talking on the phone to people I don't know. But more so, I fear it. I don't know why, but it is one of the most anxiety producing things in my life (and I have three kids 4 and under).

Seriously, if I have to call someone on the phone that I don't know, I spend at least an hour preparing for the conversation, stressing over it, trying to pump myself up and finally trying to find away around it.

I know, I'm pathetic! I admit it... it's just the way I have always been.

My parents tried for a while to cure me. When I was about 15 they decided that if I wanted to order pizza, I had to call them myself. We didn't have take-out again until I got my license and could drive to the place and order in person. (And, yes, then sit there until it was ready.)

On a positive, I now have no problem calling people that I do business with: customer service, tech support, places of business if I need directions. (Yes, I have successfully ordered myself pizza for the last 15 years or so.)

But to talk to someone I have never met for any other reason. Heart Attack... I kid you not.

Now, a while back, I decided to get involved in our church a bit more. So I signed up for the food ministry. You know, if someone needs a meal because they are sick or just had a baby, you put together a meal and get it to them. Our church calls it the Mary and Martha ministry. There are multiple teams of five people and each person on the team has a job... dessert, salad, bread, etc. Well, I figured I can make some food, no problem.... until the director calls me. She is desperate for someone to be the "Mary" of our team. I will have to call the person to see is they need anything and then call again a week later to check up on them. I immediately seized up and stalled. I told her about my phone anxiety, trying to convince her I was not the right person for the job. She assured me it would be fine. They have a packet that tells you exactly what to say. I finally agreed, cautiously. I thought, God is asking me to do this. I can do this... It is only a phone call!

Today, I got the dreaded call. I need to call someone who is having surgery tomorrow. Can I just tell you. NO PACKET. I never got any packet. She PROMISED me a PACKET! I have no idea what I am suppose to say to this woman. After and hour or two of stress and almost backing out, I finally called. She sounded like she didn't understand why I was calling. (That was fun!) I finally asked if she would like me to put her name on the prayer list. She sounded very upbeat about that. (Success!) I called the office at church to ask if I could put her name on the list and the secretary, sounding very annoyed, informed me it was already there. (Shame!)

I am NOT a "Mary." I cannot do this job. And now I have an entire week to stress about the follow-up call.

Seriously God, this is not funny. My parents tried this strategy when I was 15, it didn't work. And while I know you are a much better teacher than my parents, I am so not happy with your technique at the moment. Just saying....